Four Months, holy crap

Well, it's been four freaking months since my last post. For the longest time now I have been fading away from occult practice. Not belief in the occult mind you but occult practice. This seems strange to me being that I went from being a dyed in the wool skeptic of things like auras, and "energy work" to having personal experiences of these phenomenon.

The reality of it all hit me like a freight train the first time I actually saw, and felt my aura. And then the experiences that followed. So how can I explain my lack of follow through on something that changed my world view so completely? It has been puzzling me for several months now.

The answer is personal will. Its fundamental. Practicing the occult arts is all about manifesting your will. Using ritual and subtle (and not so subtle) energies to form reality to your will. However, often the question is how do I manifest my will in the most effective manner possible? If I wish to feel better and run faster is it more effective to perform a ritual or change my diet and training regimen?

It takes a great deal of discipline, study, and soul searching to be an effective witch. I would argue it takes considerably more effort to be a good and effective witch or occultist, etc. than it does to eat right and exercise. Or go and find yourself a mate. Or find a job. Or do just about any old thing a witch would put forth there magical efforts to do. Its economics.

Now a very probable rebuttal to this observation would be that a truly effective witch could effect occurrences that a non-magic user would have no hope of affecting. Such as using magic to heal, foretell future events, protect oneself and their family from harm, or effect the weather. One might also make the argument that it is simply more spiritually fulfilling than obtaining your will by more mundane means.

Such an argument certainly has merit. Certainly I feel much more spiritually fulfilled when actively engaged in ceremony and meditation. But I would also point out that the things that truly matter to a person such as, love, health, a good cup of coffee, and a good roll in the sheets, can all be met just as fully through mundain means.

This leaves me with the question of what is the question here? If the question is something like: Is pursuing my will through occult practices necesarilly more fulfilling than pursuing it through mundain practices? Than I am unconvinced.

If the question is: Am I more fulfilled spiritually when engaged in occult ceremony, meditation, and magical work? Then the answer seems to be yes.

So, which is it the means or the end?

Here's to finding out.